


Spider In The Warren

by MasterSatanOverlord



Category: Marvel, Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Gen, Humor, I'm Sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 07:19:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11823852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasterSatanOverlord/pseuds/MasterSatanOverlord
Summary: I have absolutely no idea how this is going to go... So, what if Peter Parker met E. Aster Bunnymund? That's pretty much what this is. No fluffy sugar coating. Weird cross I know, but I think it'll work and I actually kind of like it. Even if I'm the one who wrote it. PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME! ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS! I OWN NOTHING AND AM NOT MAKING A PROFIT!





	1. Prologue

Peter groans as he sits up and looks around, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. He looks around the earthen prison he is now trapped in, trying to figure out where he is. He stands, plucking the… straw? out of his spandex uniform as he surveys the cozy room he woke in. It's bare, minimalistic, and earthy. He walks out of the room with the intention of investigating the small hut, a vain attempt at trying to find another human. He finds an exit before he finds a person, so he steps out, into what looks like a spring wonderland, a huge meadow, soft grass, and wildflowers, there is a fairly large section that appeared to be a garden, as well as at least two rivers, one a pastel pink, the other baby blue. He hit himself on the head when he realizes. Phone.

Pulling out said cell phone from his hidden pocket, he notices the tiny display in the top, right-hand corner declaring that there was not any service in the underground paradise. Peter groans and replaces the useless technology. His spider-sense suddenly goes off and he whirls around, only to come face to chest with a ginormous, humanoid rabbit. The bunny is standing up on his back paws (feet?), arms folded over his chest, which had a leather strap across it, his green eyes looked confused and furious at once.

"Whut are ya doin' here mate?" His voice, despite the friendly enough words, sounded threatening, and he was definitely an Aussie.

"Well excuse me Mr. Kangaroo! I just woke up here!" There's a tinkling laughter and a tall, thin teenage boy appears beside the large rabbit, the boy is extremely pale, with white hair and bright blue eyes. He's wearing a dark blue, hooded sweater and tight brown pants that come up to just above his ankles. His light coloring makes the rabbit appear a darker gray than he actually is.

"See! I told you Bunny! You are a kangaroo!" The light gray rabbit man leans forward, face twisting with his palpable rage.

"Ah'm a bunny." He speaks slowly and the boy holding the frosty stick resembling a shepherd's crook simply laughs harder, Peter sighs and rips off his mask then rolls his eyes.

"I realize, bunny man. Australia is just famous for the kangaroos, yeah?" The laughter cuts off and both look surprised while Spider-Man stands there, confused at their shock.

"How d'ya know mah name?" The rabbit's eyes narrow to nothing but slivers and Peter's eyebrows furrow together.

"Your name?"

"E. Aster Bunnymund." There's a snort from the young boy as he recites the man's full name, joined shortly by laughter from the spider mutant.

"Your name is Easter Bunnymund?" He can't hold back the laughter that overtakes him as soon as the two words roll off his tongue.

"And whut's yer name?" The rabbit huffs out, annoyed at their obvious glee taken in the ridiculous name. The spider catches his breath before telling them both.

"Peter. Peter Parker." The pale boy chimes in, contributing to the name pile with his own.

"Alright. So if you're Jack Frost…" He points to the aforementioned youth. "Then you…" He turns his finger to Aster. "Are the Easter bunny."

"An' don't ya forget it!"

"Right…" Peter bites back more laughter. "So… Where are we?" He glances around the fantastical landscape once more.

"This is The Warren mate. Where Ah work. Where Ah live."

"Right, well then… Can you take me back to New York City?"


	2. New York

"Sure thing mate. C'mere…" Peter walks over and the rabbit scoops him up, bridal style, taps his foot to open a tunnel before leaping in and going full speed through, blowing back Peter's hair and turning his cheeks pink, before re-emerging in a back alley in the desired city. Peter pulls on his mask once again and the rabbit seems to ripple and shift until in his place stands a 6'1", well built, ashy blond, deeply tanned, very attractive man. Peter turns to ask the rabbit to go on back without him and his jaw drops as he gets an eyeful of the tattooed man where Aster had been a second before.

"A-Aster..?" The only reason he even bothered with trying was the design of the tattoos, they were the same as the markings Bunny had had as a, well, bunny. His voice is a high-pitched squeak as he inquires, the man simply nods and grabs the younger man's arm, pushing him forward. "Let's go then." Peter nods then shoots a web out onto a fairly close by building.

"Hang on to me then Bunny." The rabbit turned man grabs onto Peter, hanging on tightly. The men finally set down at Peter's apartment building before the web slinger crawls up the wall, he throws over his shoulder, "Wait there." Peter gets to the window of his apartment, slides it open, and climbs in. A moment later, he jumps back out, still in his uniform but with clothing in his hand and comes back down, sticking to the building and shimmying down with one hand. He walks back over to Bunny and says something so quietly even the Pooka, with his astounding hearing, could barely catch the faintly there murmur.

"Whut's that, luv?" The term of endearment slips of his tongue and melds together with the rest of his softly spoken words before he can bite it back. Peter, slightly taken aback, simply shakes his head.

"This… This is going to sound crazy, but… This isn't my New York. That was my apartment, but it was empty. No sign of life..." He shakes his head again. "Come on… Let's find a newspaper or something…" He waves an outstretched hand toward him, gesturing for Bunny to move closer so they could swing off again. Once Aster was wrapped in his arm and the bundle of clothing was transferred to his hands, Peter slings them around the town again, searching for a paper stand. As it's New York, it doesn't take long. After landing and removing his arm from around Aster, he picks up the first issue he can get his hands on and quickly checks the date. "May 25, 2078… There's no way…." The paper slips from his fingers, the pages all coming apart and fluttering softly to the ground. Hanging his head, he turns back to Aster, taking the clothes back from him. "Let's go…"

Unsure of how to respond to the desolate boy, he looks around swiftly before his appearance changes once more, changing him once more into a large rabbit. Thumping his foot on the ground, one of his tunnels appears beneath his and Peter's feet and they surface again in the Warren. Once Peter regains his footing on solid ground, Aster apologizes. "Ah'm sorry, didn't know where else to bring ya." Peter waves him off and turns to find a place to be alone. He somehow finds his way back to the small hut he first landed in. Going in, he figures this is where Aster would live. He trails thoughtlessly through the little cottage after changing into the casual clothing he found in the apartment that should have been his. Coming across Jack asleep in the little straw bed, he smiles a bit and leaves the little cottage once more, leaving his uniform folded neatly on a chair. Finding a soft patch of grass to sit, he lays himself down and gazes up at the soft pastel blue of the sky. Trying his cell phone once more, he finds it to still be out of service, sighing, he shuts it off to preserve the battery and slides it into the pocket of the jeans he was wearing. Tugging on the collar of the band shirt he was wearing, he pulls the neckline down once more, not enjoying being choked by a stranger's shirt.

Falling asleep in the soft breeze, he's found by Aster half an hour later when he becomes worried about the brunette. He recognizes the clothes he is wearing, but not his face as he had been wearing his mask throughout their entire earlier confrontation. Shaking his head at the gentleness of the man's face, he lifts him up in his fuzzy arms and brings him into his hut, laying him gently on the bed that Jack had vacated moments before, he strokes a couple strands of soft hair from Peter's closed eyes. "Sleep well, mate."


	3. Deadpool

**As of this chapter, I'm not going to be writing in Bunny's accent. It's there, we know it's there and I'll make little notes to it every so often, but I'm not gonna be typing it out.**

After a few hours, Peter wakes up once more in the bed of the small hut. He sits up, stretching, before realizing where he is and cursing quietly. "I could have sworn I was dreaming..." He mumbles quietly as Jack runs in. Seeing Peter's already awake, he grabs onto the spider's arm, dragging him out.

"Come on! Another one of you has popped up and I think we need some help..." The frosty sprite says, tugging him out of the hut and into the softly swaying grass of the field.

Peter freezes in place, unable to have grabbed his mask before leaving the small earthen house. "W-Wade..?" He might have known the anti-hero's identity, but Wade certainly didn't know his. Until now. The red clad man looks away from Bunny, letting go of his hold around the poor creature's shoulders before dashing forward and pulling the young man into his arms.

"Spidey baby! Is that you? How are you so dang cute? That isn't even fair!" Peter could see the exaggerated pout even below the mask he was wearing. "Oh wait!" He leans in close to whisper to the young hero. "Should I even be calling you that?"

Peter sighs, giving up and holding out a hand. "Hey, Wade. I'm Peter." Wade gasps and claps like a kid before bowing low, taking Peter's hand and kissing it through the mask he was still wearing.

"This is a dream come true, to finally be seeing Petey's cute face." He laughs a bit before finally taking note of the boy floating around, making his way to the large rabbit. He grabs the boy's arm holding him in place as he looks over the white haired, pale skinned, blue eyed boy's face. "And who are you?" He takes an interest and Jack tries [to free](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11134525&chapter=3/#) himself as Wade keeps firing questions him.

Moves away, toward Aster who seemed to be torn between helping the young sprite and letting it be. Without thinking, Peter rests a hand on the rabbit's arm as he moved to grab a boomerang. "He's fine. Wade might be overwhelming, but he won't hurt him. Maybe scar him mentally a bit, but no real damage." When the rabbit seems to relax, lowering his hand again to his side, Peter changes the topic. "Do you have any idea what to do now?" He asks, looking up at the much taller man imploringly with his large brown eyes.

Aster looks down at the young man, seemingly entranced. "I… I don't know. This hasn't happened before." Aster pauses before a light sparks in his green eyes. "We should talk to Manny! He would probably know. He's probably the one who brought you here." He says.

"We should come up with a plan before anything," Peter says, turning his eyes to the red clad vigilante. "I'll get Wade." He says, making his way over to the man after smiling up at the rabbit.

"Come on man, leave Jack alone." Peter begins to [admonish](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11134525&chapter=3/#) the man, eventually prying him off of the boy who still appears in his teens. "I guess we have to go [meet up](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11134525&chapter=3/#) with someone that can get us back home." Peter can see the frown that tugs down on the corners of the man's lips. "Before that though, we should probably come up with a plan..." Wade looks down at him, turning his gaze back to the noncompliant Jack, and then back to Peter.

"Alright…" He says with a small shrug, keeping his hold on Jack and tugging him along. Following Peter who was catching up to Aster. He had begun to make his way to the hut so they could plan in comfort.

After setting up enough chairs, Aster makes his way to the [small kitchen](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11134525&chapter=3/#) area to put on some tea, grown and harvested in the Warren.


End file.
